Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You took a bar mat shot.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
