I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize