Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
