C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
