I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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