Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
