i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
