I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
