u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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