i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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