You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
