Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
