I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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