I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
