respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
