You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
