I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize