This house was built for laser tag.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
