Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize