mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
