What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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