You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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