he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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