try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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