Are we in a gay sports bar?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
that may or may not have been my penis.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
