Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
