I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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