I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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