i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
