one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
