I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
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No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
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The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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