people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
