I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
