I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
