I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
