Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
