the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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