this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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