Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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