I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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