they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
