Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
