Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
