I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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