is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You did what with his pubic hair?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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