My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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