Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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