I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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