They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
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Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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