Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Randomize
