when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
