3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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