I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
