So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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