all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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