I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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