is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
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