How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
