since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
