Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
