Tell her she can't have a vagina
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize