We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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