Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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