A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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